songs, strangers, stories and dreams: an improvised artist's date

Never under-estimate God's ability to throw you a curve ball, or your abilities to field it.

I did not set out to have this week's Artist's date tonight, but it just kind of happened.

I spent the day glued to my phone and the computer, and only got up to walk Kody and make a fresh pot of tea every now and then. It was one of those days where I kept catching myself wondering why I ever thought it was a good idea to start my own business... then I'd kick myself in the ass for doubting my ability to reach my goals. Consequently, by the end of the work day, my brain and my ass were both feeling pretty sore.

A friend called around 9:00 and chastized me for still working.
I realized I hadn't eaten since noon, and I really didn't feel like braving the kitchen that late at night, so I walked over to a little Mexican restaurant and bar near my house for dinner.

This place is the local hangout for L.A.'s honest-to-goodness cowboys. Not the kind you see at the bars in boots and hats who have never been on a horse or roped a steer, but the everyday working horsemen and women. I live close to the largest stable in Los Angeles, and people who work there often stop in for a bite to eat. I hardly ever go out to eat alone, but tonight, not having anyone across the table from me gave me a chance to people watch. (yes, blind people can still people watch.) I found myself having fun observing the melting pot around me. Three or four guys walked past me with spurs on, fresh off the saddle. I wouldn't have been surprised to find their horses tied out front (there are hitchingposts out there for that, and it's not uncommon.) Across the room from me, I could hear two men in the movie biz discussing film types, caracter-building and lighting for their movie. In the bar, an open mic night was in full swing, complete with pitchy guitars, twangy drunk crooners, and rough-and-tumble voices that sounded like they'd seen one too many late nights over a cheap bottle of wine.

I got to have a nice chat with myself over dinner about a lot of the good and bad points of being the owner of a small business, and what it's going to take to really make it fly. I'd been reading the artist's Way a little more today, and had stumbled across a passage about self-imposed limits.

We assume that we can't possibly do something, or reach a goal... it's just too far out of reach. "I couldn't win a grammy," we say, or "that's too expensive." "It's nice to dream about that, but in reality.." or "if I could make money in that... but I can't..." Yeah. If you work in the arts, you've said something along those lines to yourself at least once. A day, a week, a month... a minute... admit it. I realized I've done far too much of that lately, trying to be frugal and not giving myself the benefit of the doubt. I need to shake off these self-imposed limits and change course a little bit. I decided that it's time to re-think my strategy a little bit, and approach things from a different angle.

When I walked out of the restaurant, I passed the open mic stage, where a raucous blues guitarist was hammering away on his out-of-tune guitar, and the feedback was ear-splitting. Outside, the night felt so peaceful, then I heard soft guitar music and I stopped to listen. A soft voice, true in pitch and quiet, was singing with the guitar. I stood there listening, until my phone rang. It was a client with some recording questions. I took the call, then reached into my purse for a card and a tip for the guitarist.

We introduced ourselves, and wound up talking. She's starting her career in music, just releasing her first EP, and had tons of questions for me.

As I walked home after watching her performance and talking with her for over an hour, I couldn't help but marvel at what had just happened. We each had something to give the other. She needs a fiddler. I fiddle. She had encouragement for me, and reminded me why I do what I do, and in turn, I gave her inspiration, advice, and encouragement.

Art flows like a river. A river does not flow if there is not water, and the water doesn't come from within. It comes from God, the world around you. The tributaries for your art pour in at the least likely bends in the river, revitalizing you, replenishing your dwindling resources, keeping you flowing toward your eventual goal.

Meeting the guitarist tonight reminds me that God answers prayers in his own strangely beautiful way, if you give him the chance. When you open your heart, it will be filled. When you open your hand, be generous in giving, and in accepting. Open your ears and your mind long before you open your mouth or turn your back. Wehn you give to others, you give to yourself far more.

I'm a pretty shy person when it comes to meeting strangers, and I'm not usually the type to walk up to a new musician and hand them my card. That usually brings the immediate response of: "You're a producer? Produce me! Make me a star! Pay for my record." I don't do that at all... so I can be very hesitant to reveal my job to those I don't know well. Everyone thinks of a producer as the big shot with the big bucks and the big mouth and the big ideas. I'm about as far from that stereotype as you could possibly get. But tonight, something abou ther music or the moment just struck me, and I'm glad it did.

God puts us in places for a reason. I needed my wellspring renewed, and she told me that earlier today she'd been praying for something to point her in the right direction--some guide or signpost to tell her where to go from here. It's amazing how two complete strangers can help each other on such a deeply spiritual level with just a few words, a song, a smile, and a shared dream. I guess that's why I launched this blog in the first place, to share a dream, share a vision, to find ways through this crazy world without letting the river run dry in the process. In fact, thats the very reason I chose a career as a producer. Finding that dream that is tied up inside a soul, and helping a talented musician set their music free for the world is why I produce. It's the joy in life I live for, knowing someone's vision, and helping them turn it from a tiny spark of thought into a momentous force that changes lives, touches hearts, opens minds and accomplishes who knows what else in this world?

I have the best job.

Taking the Plunge: No media this week

And you're thinking... what as she, nuts?

No, just a procrastinator. In the Artist's way, Cameron directs you to spend one week without the influence or distraction of media of any kind... no books, TV, or anything else you use to distract yourself from your artwork. The goal is to use this time to focus on internal home improvement if you will. It's time you should spend getting to know yourself without the world outside tainting what you see in the mirror.

Okay,, so this is my--um--sixth or maybe eighth week of the Artist's Way, and she urges you to do this in the third or fourth week, but hey, I put out the warning before that me and time management around these sorts of things just don't make good bed fellows. So here I go, better late than never. No facebook or myspace for a week, no TV (I usually only watch it for news or documentaries anyway, but no means no.) No books (this will be by far the hardest for me. No internet browsing to catch up on the latest blog posts from friends or reading newsletters and articles. I will be checking emails and work-related things out of necessity, but that is it.

It's Springtime, and I have spring-cleaning goals for this medialess week, if that is a word, which it's not--but I'm claiming creative license. :-d

First goal: Spring clean and home improvement on the outside. I'll be re-decorating... on a budget. Much as I love snuggling with Kodak, it's getting hot, and the fur is driving me nuts. I know, I know, the dog rules the house and it's called "Fur-niture" for a reason, but, well, we need to compromise a little here. I allow myself one "splurge" per month in this Artist's Way journey. Last month, it was an IPod. This month, it will be a beautiful new ensemble for my bed--mint green, purple and gold with beautiful designs you can run your fingers over, and soft mint green sheets and embroidered pillows. And no dog fur!!! Kodak gets a new bed, too; and I'm actually going to put effort into making him sleep in it!

Hey, cut that out... I hear you snickering as you read this. I'll still spoil the Bear rotten, but he's going to have to find somewhere else to leave his fur, because I'm done sleeping with it! :-d

Right. We'll see how long this lasts. It better last until Kodak makes money of his own... dog claws and fur and nice coverlet for the bed do not go together well.

But I have wanted to decorate since I moved in, and I just have put it off to concentrate on other things, and because my money was going to other more pressing issues. I'm trusting my intuition that this is something I need to do; so I'm going to bribe friends to help me put pictures on the walls, and I'm going thrift shopping... combing through the second-hand Holly wood shops to find those one-of-a-kind treasures that will take this place from a house to a homemade masterpiece. Greens, purples, warm golden and blue tones, and the bathroom in purple, silver and lavender ... plus everything will have exquisite texture. A feast for the senses. I love making my home a place where you can smell good things when you walk in, see beauty, taste wonderful food, touch soft, unique fabrics and elegant artwork, and hear laughter, love, music and godliness. I do love color, even though I can't see it. It's hard to explain. I still have very vivid mental pictures of color, and love mixing and matching shades in my head.

My second goal for this week of no media is to give my internal neighborhood a good clean-up. Intense Yoga, and starting a ten day fasting cleanse will get my body back on track. I have appointments for acupuncture, crystal-therapy, and herbal consulting this week. I'll go spend time serving in the temple, and the only material I'll read this week aside from work-related things will be Scriptures. All that extra time I spend catching up on the news and browsing the internet will be much better spent in Scripture study, and doing Yoga.

i'll post this week and let you know how it's going, but I won't read comments or anything until next week... Who knows what will emerge along the way? I've attained the goals I started the Artist's Way with (a few very big ones), so now it's time to set the bar even higher, and keep moving forward. Hopefully this is the next big step.

Tea + fiddle-shopping = Delicious!

It’s past 1:00 in the morning, and I’m still not in bed. I have to work all weekend, and I need to be sleeping, but I’ve been thinking about a few things I wanted to blog about. If I don’t do it now, they’ll vanish into the depths of my mental blackhole to-do list… which means… they’ll never get posted. :-d

First, Rishi Tea.

I love herbal teas. I don’t drink caffeinated beverages anymore, but I still love a hot mug of tea in my hands. Nothing clears my mind better and helps me focus and relax when I’m facing a difficult problem, or just needing some peace.

I’m always on the hunt for good tea. I like my tea very strong, with a good flavor, and nice body to it. It can be hard to find good herbal teas that are strong enough for my taste.

I found Rishi Tea at Whole Foods, and ordered a few teas off their website that weren’t in the store. No matter what tea I’ve gotten from them, I like it. Every tea brews well, is strong and flavorful, but doesn’t leave a bad after-taste like some teas. They’re very creative in their flavor and potanical selections, too. My favorite is their tangerine ginger tea. It’s amazing!

Plus, they’re organic and fair trade certified. They have a great selection of green and black teas, too, if you drink that. They sell saches, so you can make your own teabags or brew from loose leaves, and their teas are good for more than one brewing. Enjoy!

Next: Fiddle stuff

I’ve really gotten lax with my Artist’s Way work this week, since I’ve been working on a new contract. Excuses, excuses! I did have a good Artist’s date, though last weekend.

If you haven’t read the book, an artist’s date is time you take away from work and the world to just go spend time with your inner artist, give her food for thought, and do something fun.

Last weekend, I attended a great electric violin workshop. Quite a few lutiers were there, including Yamaha, Mark Wood, and Jordan. They had a couple zetas out for display, too, but they were four-string. (I play extended, five string.)

I’m torn between a really cool-looking Viper by mark Wood, and a beautiful, one-of-a-kind custom electro-acoustic John Jordan fiddle. Jordan fiddles are works of art in their own right, but a Viper… If you’ve never seen a Viper, do a google search on Mark Woods violins,and check them out. They’re really cool!

But since I’m in the studio more than I’m on a stage, and the Jordan fiddles are one-of-a-kind masterpieces with a unique sound I love, I’m going for a Jordan. I’ll have to wait a few months while he finishes building my violin. But I’m already composing in my head for that fiddle!

I also got to test-drive the new Coda Joule bows. Light, but with a good feel to them, I like them. It’s easy to over-rosin them and get a hard, gritty sound, but if you go easy on them and keep your touch light on the electric fiddle, the Joule feels like it’s a great bow. I like wooden bows, but who knows what I’ll wind up using on the Jordan when I get it.

I haven’t blogged at all this week, and I’m sure there are other things I should get in here… but my eyes are shutting, and Kody’s barking in his sleep. I’m off to join him. Sometimes, that dog is smarter than I am… okay, most of the time, I must confess.

Good night!

A Need to Serve: Public service and art

I love volunteering, fundraising and serving in the community; it's one of my life's passions. I think it's one of the foundations of life--not just charity, but service. Giving of your money is very important, yes, but giving of yourself and your time is a completely different feeling. I've served in a wide variety of settings, from children's cancer organizations to homeless shelters, Yoga and wellness centers, hospitals, art classes for the disabled, animal welfare programs, blindness advocacy organizations, etc. If I have one regret in my life, it's that I haven't done more. The more I serve, the more I want to do. I'd love to travel overseas someday and do what I can for third-world countries. Whether I'm spending time with animals or people at shelters, offering a shoulder for moms when they just need to break down and cry about the latest chemo treatment or surgery, or if I'm singing to spread hope and raise money, I find so much joy and inner peace in serving. It empowers me--helps me understand that I can do a lot in this world; but it also reminds me that no matter how hard my life gets, it could always be worse. It makes me so grateful. I can cultivate empathy, joy, love, forgiveness, hope, courage, strength, humility, and fearlessness in myself and in those I serve. Service isn't just something to put on your tax deduction list, brag to your friends about, or feel good inside about (those are not good reasons to serve, and they'll get you about as far as the first time you put your fingers into a rotten grapefruit at the food bank.) I serve to learn, teach, grow, understand, give, receive and overcome. Serve because there is work to be done and you can do it.

You learn so much. There's a depth to giving of your time and talent that reaches into every part of your life. You hear homeless people tell their stories, the old folks at the nursing home love to reminisce about scenes from their lives that go along with the song you are playing... The feeling you get knowing that you've brought hope and new resolve to a family whose child is stricken with cancer--all of these things are proof that there is so much good in this world.

Once in a while I have to bow my head alone and cry when the things I've witnessed are just too heart-breaking, but if I can make some small difference, then I can keep picking at the lock until the door opens wide. Sometimes the work is back-breaking, frustrating, I feel like I'm getting nowhere, but I've always found in the end that the work was well worth doing. I've never once regretted serving, never found a better way to spend my time. I'm really busy, and making time to serve is often hard, but I've never regretted foregoing a few other activities in my life to go down to the center and teach a Yoga class for senior citizens. They can use the things we do in Yoga to help themselves get up if they fall, and Yoga will minimize injury when they fall. It may be hard to teach them in the class, but what I'm doing will help them and their families for a long time to come. Taking a few minutes out of my day to give a free singing lesson to a homeless child means that I'll get a little less of my own work done, maybe, but it's so worth it to hear her starting to believe in herself and leave her fear behind. I can't put a roof over her head single-handedly, but I can bring her some joy, and show her that she's loved, and she has wonderful gifts to give the world even though she may be penniless.

So why am I blogging about public service on my Artist's Way blog? Because the work that I do directly affects my art. The stories of people I meet form the basis for the songs I write; the experiences I have change my viewpoint, as I survey a finished piece. Everything you do in your life affects your artwork, I'm learning. Life is a circle, a balancing game--everything affects everything else. (Hey, I wasn't going for the Circle of Life song from the Lion King, but cliche... touche.)

I've given money to charities, and I will continue to do so as long as God graces me with the means, but for my own benefit, and for the benefit of those lives I can touch, I'll always give of my time and talents. When I was working my way through school, that's often all I had to give, but in the end, it was enough to accomplish what needed to be done. Sometimes I never thought I could do the things that came my way that needed to be done. I struggled, not believing that I could do anything to help, but knowing that I could not just sit still and do nothing. Ultimately, I learned the essence of the phrase "Where there's a will there's a way." But I learned a much more valuable lesson in the process. I learned that each and every one of us has something the world needs.

I've also been the recipient of service. More than once I've had to swallow my pride and reach out a hand to the world for help in one way or another. The world is full of angels and kind souls, who have reached out to me, and given me so much. When I was younger, I often felt very helpless. I received so much, but felt I had this huge debt I could never pay back. What could a blind woman do? What could I do? I didn't have money to give, or much of anything, I felt. As I began to accept the gifts God placed in my life, and as I learned to heed my artistic voice and God's role in my life, I began to understand that I did have a debt, and I did have the means to repay it. I had a voice; I had faith; I had wisdom and insight and courage; and I had love. What more did I need?

Life is give and take. We each give, so that in our time of need, we may take. I have taken, now I'm giving, and I'm sure things will circle around again. Be sure that when you are able, you give, so that when you are in need, others will do the same for you.

Your homework: Go serve. Find an organization in your area that needs your time. there's tons of them, so don't say "I don't know any." Then, make the time!!! Work, school, family--hello! Serving is a priority item on your to-do list. Sit down with your planner, and really look at your jam-packed week. If you really squeeze, I promise you'll find an hour or two in there somewhere--is everything on your priority list Really a priority or is there a little give hiding in there somewhere you just can't admit to? :-d

Serving your community is serving God. Get the family involved! Take a day away from soccer practice or school and go help teach art classes at the battered women's shelter, or go play with the animals at the local Humane Society. Go to the food bank and sort vegetables or pack boxes for them (they always need extra hands.) Serve dinner for the homeless; they don't just need you at Christmas. Don't just whine at dinner about a sad news story you saw... find a way to help! (A few of you reading this may want to pinch me for that last statement.)

These things may seem transient, short-lived to you, but if you can take a homeless child's mind off the fear and the pain for a few minutes by helping him color a picture, or you can sit with an aged woman and squeeze her hand when she talks about her days as a young girl overseas... You're helping. You'll know it deepin your soul, you will feel it when the work you are doing is helping. Putting food on a plate at the soup kitchen, cutting your hair for Locks of Love... you don't see the end result of the work you do, but do what you can in the moment, and put the rest in God's hands.

Then, apply that principle to your artwork. Do what you can in the moment, and put the rest in God's hadns. His hands are much bigger than mine, and can hold so much more. When my art enters His hands, I feel this incredible weight come off my shoulders, and I know it will flourish and be more than I could ever make it alone. When I give my art to him, which can sometimes be very hard and frightening, it always turns out for the best.

How do you let go and "give it to God?" What public service have you done that inspires your creativity and your art? What makes you feel God's presence in your life? Share, so others can grow from you.